Why Is She Such A Hot BITCH?!?!!?

WHY?

Yartsy by Yasexy

Yasexy is an EXTREMELY talented artist/blogger who is currently doing portraits for $3 for the first 233 people to comment on her blogpost!!! Here is an example of her work;

If you want a portrait done of you for $3, then click the banner then click here now because after, the price will be raised to $20 a portrait!!!!

Say that Steph Sent ya!!!

OMGawwwwwsh!

It suddenly hit me that I graduate next year!!

I don't know what I want to do!!

Nooooooooooooo!!!

I have NO experience whatsoever!

I really have to start getting on my grind and setting up some work experience and stuff. I'm already a Student Ambassador at my uni which is cool, but i want moreeeeeee. I want to do so many things now! When I was in a relationship, i dedicated everryyything to my ex and made everything about him, now that i unfortunately no longer have those obligations, there's so much i want to do!

Tattoo- Check

Lip Piercing - Next week!

Oh. Question for anyone who has a lip piercing...what instrument do they use and does it hurt lmao?? :(

I also want to get into some volunteering too. Perhaps working with young people orrr old folks...or something legal idk..but yeah..the world is my Oyster

:)

And So The Lamb Fell In Love With The Lion...

Today I got my first tattoo.

I've completely fallen in love with it.

It hurt like hell, but I loved the pain...it helped me..it's like, everything I was feeling mentally was released into that physical pain.

Yesterday, I was on the bus and this quote came to me out of nowhere 'And so the lamb fell in love with the lion...silly little lamb"- I feel that quote describes everything about me...falling for the wrong people...loving people who hurt me, take me for granted, take advantage, trying to help out people who don't give a fuck..and so now, everytime i look at this tattoo, it will remind me not to make the same mistakes again, not to be 'silly' in the choices I make, to be vigilant about people...to become a stronger person instead of staying naive/vulnerable...like a lamb.

One of my friends advised me to really think about this as tattoos are permanent, but I feel it was the ideal quote and time to get this especially after what i've been through in the past week. A week that I never want to experience in my life again, that feeling of being MAJORLY played when I had done nothing wrong. I don't deserve that and I don't deserve being tarred with the same brush as other women because I know that I am a good woman who means no harm to anybody. All i want to do is love and be loved.

I suppose this tattoo is a whole part of the healing process. I've learned a huge lesson this year in terms of relationships. All this time i've been blaming myself for what's happened: wasn't I pretty enough? Wasn't I interesting enough? I even started thinking maybe it was because I wasn't light enough. Yes, ludicrous things I was thinking..because as far as i'm concerned, I made the best out of that relationship and i did EVERYTHING to make sure I was good..so I don't get why..I just don't.

Anyway. I'm out. Work tomorrow.

ps. I have the strongest urge in the world to eat Salmon!!
Does this mean anything lmao!?

Long Walks and Blood Tattoos (Pic heavy)

This morning i decided to go to Richmond Park to have a long walk and think about shit.
For those who are unfamiliar, Richmond Park is the biggest City park in the world- it is three and a half times bigger than Central Park in New York!
To cut a long story short, I got lost in one of the Plantations, which was kinda scary as I was the only one there and its basically a forest. A beautiful one, but still a forest lol, had me thinking about the Blair Witch project and stuff!
And...I SAW DEER!!!!!!!!!!!

All in all, it was really fun..I had a good walk, put some things into perspective...even though it took me 3 hours to find my way out lol. Here are a few pics:

 

 

 

 

 

After that, I went to go and give some blood.

 

Giving blood calms me. It makes me feel good knowing that somebody out there is going to benefit something that comes directly from my heart...seeing as no one else wants my...(Do NOT go Emo Steph!!! Save that for your other blog lol)

In other news:

I'm getting two tattoos on both my wrists next week. I can't wait. I was trying to think of the perfect tattoo that would represent me...and today on the bus...it came to me. So obvious!!!

I shalln't say what it is until they are done..and people may think that the meaning of them is a bit negative...but not for me..it shall serve as a warning everytime I look at it.

I will say though.... Twilight.

That's all i'm saying. :D 

"Git Yo' Shit...Git Yo' Shit...And GIT OUT!!!"

The title is a quote from the amazing movie 'waiting to exhale' which I watched this afternoon lol good times. :D

Anyhoo..I am planning to come to america for a vacation after Graduation! I need help though on where to go..So far I have the typical cliche places:

New York
California
Atlanta
Miami

To any americans out there, where would be the most economical place to live? I'ma be on a budget lol!

I plan to relocate to America when i get older. I need to pack up my shit and get out of here because I am so sick and tired of this country lol. I need a change of scenery...something new. I would go now if i had the money lol

*sighs* - Dreeeams can come trueee..

Me singing some Amy Winehouse and Erykah Badu!

Me Singing!!

Stephanie | MySpace Video

Today is a new day...Long post (WARNING: Contains EXTREME Emo-ness lolz)

"you know sally had a saying when life makes you deal with mean and hateful people think of them as sand paper they may scratch you they may rub you in the wrong way but eventually you will polished and smooth and the sandpaper will be worn and ugly"
                                                                                   The Fighting Tempations 2005

Two lessons I have learnt from recent events:

1. Be careful who you give your heart to.

2.Always, ALWAYS go with your instinct.

If someone tells you they are in some weird freaky shit, get the fuck out lol.

If someone tells you they've killed someone before, get the fuck out.

If someone tells you they have had abused relationships...get the FUCK out.

If someone tells you they cheat by nature..ohhhh get the FUCK out lol.

I swear, I have amazing instincts, but for the past 6 months i've chosen to ignore them.

Why?

A little thing called love.

Love is fucking dangerous and you give it to the wrong person, it'll mess you up for a long time.

And it does leave an imprint.

Yesterday I was..evidently an emotional wreck (see below post lol)

Hey, I can't help my Emo ass haha!

But after a loooooooooooooong phono convo with one of my guy friends he's changed my perspective a bit and has made me see things from a male point of view.

He told me something which was really cool but i cannot for the life of me, remember how he phrased it lol.

Something about 'it's always better when people who don't deserve you, take themselves out of your life rather than you brushing them out. It's easier that way..he was spitting real knowledge last night and it's funny because i've only known him for like, 2 weeks, yet he was the first one to console me after what happened which is sweet lol.

But yeah back to what I was saying.

I saw a different side to this guy yesterday. A nasty, deceitful boy who went as far as to lie to others to make himself look good and me bad. You know I just think, after all this time i've done nothing but try to be good to him and everything, never lied, never strayed..he turns on me at the drop of a hat. Literally at the drop of a hat he starts being nasty to me like the whole 6 months never happened. This coming from a guy who's supposed to know me deep down and knows that i would never be malicious or anything like that unless provoked (which i was last night, like a typical Taurean lol)

To be honest, I have this thing where if someone defames my character or tells people that i'm a nasty person when we BOTH know that i'm not, i instantly want to clear my name because I guess i care what people think about me and I don't want people having that wrong impression, when I haven't done anything wrong. So maybe I did some things that were a bit offscale yesterday but that's only because I hate when people try to put me down and misunderstand moi.

But hey.

Now it's all about rebuilding myself I suppose. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise.

Starting off a relationship being the girl that the guy cheated on me with is not a great start to a relationship.

Starting off a relationship with the guy lying to you to protect his own skin kinda sets the foundation of how that relationship is going to turn out in future.

All I know is.

I am never falling in love again lol. At least, not now. Done it once,tore me apart..nah i'm too sensitive for that ish.

I feel sorry for all the parties involved to be honest lol. I really really do and I pray for them.

But yeah..I have no resentment in my heart..this situation could have easily turned me into a shell of myself. I could have ended up angry and bitter.

But you know what? It's not worth it. I know that i'm a good person and that i'll make someone happy someday in the distant future and hopefully find somebody who will genuinely love me for my crazy,random emotional self haha! It may take me 10,20,or 30 years to find them but i don't want to give up on love just yet because I know the kind of person I was when I was in love..everyday was sunshine and rainbows and leprachauns doing a merry little jig with elves lol. I blossomed. And I want to feel like that again.

Just not right now..which is heard because I want a relationship. I really do. I want someone to care about, to look after, to be my best friend, to joke around with, to be totally secure in myself with him and have no doubts about the relationship. My friend said that the other party involved would start to regret his decision. Meh.

Kinda half and half on that. On one side it's good that they are happy and have found someone, in their eyes 'more deserving' than me. Which on one hand is funny because I like to think i am a nice person and that I was a great person who ended up with an asshole which makes me wonder what the 'more deserving' person is like. On the other hand I feel like..and its not often I 'toot my own horn' as such, but i know I was a great girlfriend you know? And i gave him everything, i really stripped myself down to the core for him and just became really vulnerable..too vulnerable to a point where i put his needs/his life before mine. To be honest, I still feel like that. Why? not because i am obsessed or a weirdo. Because when I care and love somebody, I love H.A.R.D. I'm like a Rottweiler mauling a baby, I just DON'T let go (sorry for that sick analogy lol) and i just literally adopt the whole essense of that person into my heart so they become a part of me. And so..Ok you know how we women are right? With the whole "SHE'LL NEVER LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS I DID NIGGA!!!!" episode. Ha, i was kinda feeling that a bit yesterday. But yeah, I love hard and it doesn't go away, it won't go away, despite the things he's done. Stupid I know but that's how I am and that's probably why people keep taking advantage of me lol.

I just have to learn not to put other people before myself, beause when they leave, you feel like nothing.

To say thinking about all of this doesn't bring a tear to my eye would be lying.

I mean i'ma use an EXTREME example and I hope I dont cause offense but its the only way i can express how I feel. I literally feels like i have been emotionally raped. And that's the truth. These past 18 hours...I swear I've felt emotions that haven't even been discovered by psychologists yet lol.

Anyway.

Onwards and upwards right?

Taking it one step at a time.

Because the last time I was in a situation like this...well lets just say it took 18 months, countless councillors and anti-depressants to get me out of that black hole and i'll de daaaamned if I go there again.

I still have a lotta love in my heart for him and everyone in general. :D

So i'ma just take this L (<== american lingo i learned lmao! i'm so gay) and get on with my life.

Today is a new day...

On that note, I'm off (LMAO i talk tooo much people, I know I know, this supposed to be a lighthearted blog but occassionally you'll get an emo post like this lol. I always find it better to write down my thoughts and let people read it, rather than talk directly to them. Because i'm not used to talking about my feelings, i start off then start blabbering and messing up my words, eventually ending up in a 'crumpled heap on the floor' #VoldermortFail lmao)

I'ma go and get me some Muesli! I swear that's all I eat these days. I didn't eat anything yesterday so i'ma make up for it with some Muesli and like..4 apples lol. Back on my weightloss game now. It should be easier now with this whole brokenhearted situation because I don't eat when i'm in this state so lets see how this goes! Aim: 20 lbs by November 15th

Yass! :)

Now i need to go clean my room and cook for my Father :D

P.S-thank you to everyone who came on Ustream last night and provided me with laughter when I was looking TERRIBLE and blotchy eyed lol. <3
I'm sorry this post is so long. There won't be another one like it for a while lol.

My Whole World Has Turned to Black...

Not more than 10 minutes ago i found out the worst news I could have ever found out.
I've just realised that my "boyfriend" had been cheating on me for..I don't know how many months.
At the moment i'm just lying here in tears and my whle world has literally fallen apart.
I've done so much for this guy...I've never loved anyone as much as I love him and despite him telling me in the beginning that he's cheated on every girlfriend he's ever had, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
I was so in love with him..


I thought he was different. I thought he felt the same way too. I even remember the first day he told me he loved, April 29th this year.



How could I have been so stupid?!
I pictured a future with this guy...I've done so much for him, helped him out when he was financially unable to...Now i'm beginning to realise that he's probably been using me for money or attention.


I just....
Idon't even know what to say...
Lies on top of lies on top of lies.


I feel sorry for his new girlfriend. He's only going to do the same to her.



There aren't enough words to describe how I am feeling right now... After 6 months of being with him..giving my heart and soul to him, expressing myself and opening up to him..he does this.

Am I that bad of a person? 
What have I done to deserve this??

I just want to die.

My First Blog Videooooo :D

My Toofs and I.

You may call me 'Bugz Bunny'..

...Because this is now what I look like!!

For the past 20 years, I've had to grow up with a gap inbetween my front teeth. It wasn't a huge gap, but i had an insecurity about it. Hence me NEVER smiling with my teeth in photos. Every woman and most of the men on my Father's side of the family have this gap, an obvious trait. And out of my brother and I, IIIII had to be the one to inherit it, while my brother got my Mother's perfect, non-gapped pearlies.

Jealous Much? Hell yeah! 

I know that some people find gapped teeth 'beautiful' - in fact in Ghana, they see it as a thing of beauty/cuteness, much like dimples over here in the Western world, but i decided once and for all to take action!!

Today I had my appointment with the dentist to close the gap, not fully, just partially, and this procedure took a very loooong 70 minutes. They had to keep giving me repeated shots of anesthetic because I could feel the drills and chisels on my toofs =( (yes, toofs)

 So after they were done, I got up and looked in the mirror, expecting to see these wonderful straight front teeth.

NOW I LOOK LIKE BUGZ BUNNY!!!!!

I don't know HOW the dentist did it but he managed to EXTEND the length of my teeth by about 3 millimetres! I have naturally small,square teeth and these feel so large!! I shall upload a photo of them when the numbness around my mouth stops because at the moment my lips look like i've been through 50 rounds with Mike Tyson and i'm dribbling all over the place like a mofo. Lmao!

I don't know, maybe its the fact that my gums are probably swollen from the procedure. I rang my dad to complain and moan and he laughed and started calling me 'Roger Rabbit'. I rang my Mum and she did exactly the same. 

Parents eh?

Every hour or so i'm looking into the mirror and smiling to see If i can get used to them. From afar, they look pretty good, but close up..hmm well i'm still working on that lol. Let me see what I can compare them to...

Ok

You know that scene in 'There's something about Mary' where Matt Dillon's character has his teeth whitened? Did you notice how huge his fronts were?

Yeah.

Although i'm trying to convince myself that they look more like Lady Gaga's teeth. They do look kind of cute in a way. I supposed i'll just have to get used to it.

(They look more like this) 

*Sighs*

Ahh we'll see. Photos and possibly a vid coming soon.

Now i'm going to order me some Chinese food to compensate for my emotional trauma LOL!

Peace out!!

 

My Entry to a blog Givaway!

Hey Guys!

So I was browsing on Erica's  Every girl's little addiction blog and she is doing a fabulous giveaway where she is giving readers the chance to win 10 NYX lippies of ya choice!!!

 

Here are the rules:

Rules For Entry:

1. Must be a follower of my blog. Sorry guys!
2. Must mention this giveaway on your PERSONAL blog.(doesnt matter how small!)
3. Must list ONE of your favourite makeup/beauty products ever, and list it in a comment to this post.
4. Must leave your email in the post if you don't have a blog.
5. Must be minimum of 14 years of age to enter, if you're younger, please consult a parent first!

More Information:

1. The winner will be contacted through email once it has been decided.
2. The winner will be chosen through random.com.
3. There must be more than 25 entries for the contest to go on!
4. This contest is available internationally.
5. This contest will end on November 5th, 2009.

Wish us luck! xx

Awareness.

Hey Guys.

As you know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and I implore all the girls out there to carry out regular breast checkups at least twice a month!
(Instructions on how to self-examine your breasts are on this website: www.healthsquare.com/mc/fgmc0200.htm)

Not a lot of people know, but every 1 in 3 women get breast cancer...

Scary isn't it?

I 've spoken to a lot of girls who feel that they needn't worry about breast cancer until their mid-forties. While it is true that that is the approximate age where breast cancer normally arises, it is STILL extremely important for us girls to check for early symptoms, expecially if you have a history of breast cancer in your family.(particulary on your father's side of the family. Ask your parents)

Prevention is better than cure (But cure is still uber important so please donate to your local/national breast cancer research charity or show some love!) 

It's funny. As teen girls/women (especially us 'emo' chicks lol), during our emotional and depressive times,a lot of us often complain about 'hating our lives' and wishing ourselves dead...wishing 'maybe it would be better for me and everyone if I wasn't here.' At the time, we welcome death. <==I definately know I have. But when that time comes and you find out that your life actually may be in jeopardy, we get scared shitless.

I know first hand how that feels.

Please don't take your life for granted.

 Be Happy & Healthy :)

Blog

I'm going to make a new blog.

Nothing special.

It's going to be my personal diary, so it will be privatised.

Why i'm advertising it? 

I feel there are some people out there who can definately relate to some of the weird things I feel on a daily basis and since I don't talk to anyone i know about how I feel, I can release all my emotions on there and discuss with some of you lot about how you cope/coped with certain situations.

I'm deciding to write them online because, writing on paper takes too long lol and if my computer were to crash (which it does a lot) i would lose everything on Word. Soooo online is the best option lol.

I'll paste the link.

http://steeviesdiary.blogspot.com/

So if you wanna see it or anything, request an invite :)

xxxx

The Night Out That Never Was: Picture Edition

Celine and I in our afternoon Jurisprudence lecture.

Celine: Hey Steph, you wanna come out tonight? Jeremih is performing.

Me: Ummm, yeah probably, sounds good.

(4 hours later)

Celine: Hey Steph, what time you coming round? I'm driving.

Me: I'll get there around 9:30

Celine: Alright cool, see you in a bit!

(Phone convo ends)

I'm now at Celine's house, and the 7 of us are getting ready for a supposedly GREAT night out at our local nightclub, Oceana. There's makeup and hairspray all over the apartment, drinks are getting drunk already, and I'm sitting on Celine's bed wondering how one person can use SO MUCH hairspray/mousse in their hair.

(She just kept piling on the spray!!)

We finally reached the venue at midnight. Now, i'm not good at walking in heels for that long, so after about 45 minutes standing in the line, i VERY pissed off and in pain. We then started taking photos outside to pass the time:

 

 

 

(see the pissed face I have on? Yeah)

So my friend sees some of her friends loitering outside the line and we try to get them to stand near us, but too late, the security guy spots us and we get kicked out of the line!! The guy was soooo mean ¬_¬. Anyhoo a few of us manage us to get back in the line and we head inside to the venue.

After about an hour in there, I got into an altercation with a couple of other people and lets just say, my heel broke!! So I had to go home =( So no Jeremih that night. =(

Feature: Kesh

Meet Kesh.

 

22 years old. British, living in Chicago.

Fashion Designer

Photographer

DJ

Model

Artist

(In my opinion) One of the original pioneers in bringing back the 'Underground Nu-Rave/80s' scene in London.

Cool Kid

Not on that 'mainstream' shit.

I love her 'don't give a fuck attitude.'

 

Taken in 2008.

She doesn't follow the crowd. She doesn't follow fashion.

 

 

www.twitter.com/keshandkitty

www.myspace.com/that_girl_kesshia

www.inaworldofherown.com

www.therealkesh.blogspot.com

Me in one of her T-Shirts.

Lady Gaga for Hello Kitty.

Wonderful!

I love it!!!

 

 

(if you want to use these photos, please link them back to my blog!)

Music Nostalgia.. (LONG Video Post!!)

*Sighs Heavily*

I'm in a very nostalgic mood tonight! Reflecting back over the last 10 years of my life, i realise i used to listen to the corniest music ever!!! However it wasn't corny at the time for me lmao! I thought i would take to YT to see if i could salvage any vids and there they were! Ahhhh they really take me back to a simpler time....

(What were your fave songs back then??)

I've created a poll,..

Hiya guys!

I've created a poll which i hope will help me in improving my blogs in the future, please please please help me by participating! Help me help Youuuuuuuuuu!!! lmao! But seriously, thanks guys, i would really appreciate it!

Click Here to take survey

and heres the link if the thing above doesn't work:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=BtTrvyi8UyKln9XZGhZWWQ_3d_3d

Thank you guys!!

Stephanie

So i decided to try coloured contacts...

For the first time in my life and these were the results:

I mean...

They are nice and all but they look too...

Alienesque?

I wanted Hazel because i thought it would look halfway natural, but it's totally obvious that I am wearing em! They are far too bright for my liking so i think I shall wear them for special occasions eg Halloween lmao!

xxxx

Very Few Singers Can Make Me Cry...

..but this little boy. THIS LITTLE GUY HERE...

I'm still sitting here speechless. Apparently, Shaheen is only 12 years old and he was a finalist on Britian's Got Talent. He was @ MJ's Funeral singing and everything. 

Shaheen's voice is a gift from God.

A.MAZING!!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE WATCH.

Also please follow my other blog: www.splendiferousbeauty.blogspot.com !!!!